i touch gross raw chicken for him. it must be love.

remember the first time you told him you love him?
how did it feel?

if it was anything like the way it went for me, it felt wonderful. after the words left my lips, i knew it was said. i knew my words had slipped into that place where all said things go--a forever place. and it felt good to let those words go. it felt warm. like a light was bursting inside of me. the warmth and radiance engulfed me from the inside out. i was all smiles.

it was such a happy moment.

because he said he loves me too.

school starts on monday! ah!

it's my LAST fall semester ever. maybe. at least as far as my undergraduate studies go.

it's a happy easter.

mr. & mrs. scott lee

a week.

there is exactly one week left before the wedding.

preparing for all that comes with a typical wedding has been an incredibly stressful experience. my fears have included a lot of things that i'm not convinced are really important but that have, nevertheless, disrupted my contentment.


for example:

i worry that guests won't enjoy themselves at the wedding and reception. this worries me because so many guests are coming from out of town, and i want them to have a good time. they are important to me.

i worry that i haven't done enough to prepare. despite all of the effort scott and i have put into the wedding, i still have that feeling of inadequate preparedness.

i worry that i don't know everything that "being a wife" means.

i worry that the things i've collected and made (branch displays, guest book, programs, slide show, etc.) for the wedding won't impress people. this might be dumb, but making things is a large part of my life, and i like it when people get the same type of simple happiness from personalized things that i get.

i worry that in a month i will think of things i wish i had done differently.



no, i'm excited. and i will be glad for the day to come and pass and for our new life to begin.

can you believe we've come this far?

i hate transitions.

scott and i are moving.

the bed i used to sleep on is in an unoccupied apartment. our unoccupied apartment. i bet it's lonely. i miss it. the cot i now sleep on is narrow and low to the ground. it feels like i'm camping. only, i'm not camping outside in the damp wildness beneath the open sky. i'm camping in a small, cold space with lots of "things" (in boxes as well as scattered about) surrounding me. it was very* uncomfortable to sleep on last night. hopefully tonight will be different.

* i hope that the two writing classes i'm taking next semester won't prohibit the use of the word "very."